It was a long pregnancy. I didn’t expect to be pregnant with our third baby for as long as I was. Since I had both the girls before my due date, I figured I would always be a little early. (I was also hoping to be early again because being nine months pregnant in the dead of summer is a doozie.)
When I passed 38 weeks (the week I had Lila), my spirits were down. When 39 weeks came to a close (the week I had Melissa), I was so irritated with my body. On the day before my due date, I had false labor. Again. Contractions would hang around all day, but they’d wind down at bedtime. I tried almost every old wives tale to get things rolling, but none of it worked. It was like my body was trying to remember how to have a baby, but it needed a push, so to speak. So I needed an intervention.
I had an appointment on my due date. I asked for the infamous membrane sweep. I’d heard they were crazy painful to get, but it would put me at better odds of going into labor within the next 72 hours. Bring on the pain, I want this baby out!
The worst part was the position they put me in to do this procedure. I’d rather not you picture me this way, but trust me, it was awkward. Shudder. And yes, it was crazy painful on top of that, as promised.
But a couple hours later, contractions came about 10-15 minutes apart. I could already tell that these were different contractions. My false labor ones weren’t very noticeable while I was standing and doing things. I could feel these no matter what I did. I knew it was real this time.
Rory took the girls to the swimming pool so I could labor in silence and do some last minute things around the house. I ate a lot too. I didn’t want to be starving this time. Contractions moved to seven minutes apart. Once they were five minutes apart, I called my mom to let her know it was time to take the girls to her house.
They were so excited. It was a long 40 weeks for them too! After dropping them off, Rory and I got ourselves celebratory “we’re having a baby tonight” milkshakes, we walked around the neighborhood and went back inside to wait for things to pick up now that it was dark. We watched a little TV and I listened to some hypnosis and relaxation tapes.
It was wonderful laboring at home. I wanted to do it for as long as possible and go to the hospital at the last minute. However, contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart. I’d heard that third labors can be a lot shorter and even though the pain wasn’t terrible, 2-3 minutes apart is hospital worthy and I’d already been on labor for seven hours, which was how long my first two labors were. I figured we’d have a baby within an hour or two.
We got there just before midnight. I was only 3 cm and 100% effaced. Shoot. We got there too early. It wasn’t so bad though. The lights were dim, they gave me a birthing ball, and they left us alone. Rory took an hour power nap while I watched a show. I woke him up when things got too crazy to handle on my own, at around 3 am when I was almost 6 cm.
They were hurting fiercely now. I held onto my birthing history with the girls — 6 cm meant one more hour. Just one more hour. I know, I said that before. The epidural crossed my mind. But I figured I would finish dilating so quickly it wouldn’t be worth it. But boy, did it sound good. Contractions were intense, but they stayed about 2-3 minutes apart the whole time. I was able to re-energize fairly well during that time and relax.
After an hour, I was only 8 cm. Dang! It was taking longer than I was used to. But about twenty minutes later, I told the nurse I needed to bear down. Not long after that, they brought my doctor (the same one who delivered Lila. I get lucky catching him on call) and more nurses in.
At first pushing didn’t come as naturally and powerfully as it did with Lila. Something had me more tense this time. I had to remind myself to relax into them. Maybe it was the floodlight shining directly on my you-know-where and about five strangers standing there looking at it, not saying a word. I don’t care how many times you’ve given birth, that kind of thing is just awkward. My doctor suggested I might have a full bladder that was blocking the birth canal and inserting a catheter might help.
I looked him right in the eyes and said, “I don’t have to pee, don’t do that.” The things you never think you’ll say to people, right? So he dropped that idea, and I pushed harder.
It was odd that my contractions were still two minutes apart, even while pushing. I came across as a total slacker when I finished pushing through one contraction and practically fell asleep before the next one.
The baby’s head was finally crowning. It felt like that moment would never end, but when it did — oh the joy!
There was a beautiful boy laying on me at 4:58 am on August 21st, the morning after his due date. His hair was dark and he had his daddy’s full lips. We named him Rory Jordan Furrows. Rory, of course, after his dad and Jordan after my maiden name. We immediately did skin to skin and I was so in love with him. It turned out the baby I thought would be my smallest was my biggest — 8 pounds on the dot.
I didn’t want it to end. Holding him close and breathing him in. I didn’t want to take any of it for granted. I laid there with him as the sun came up and it couldn’t have been more perfect and peaceful.
My mom brought the girls in around noon. They were instantly enamored of him. We were all hooked on this little boy.
He has brought us so much joy. He has taught me to pause and enjoy little moments — not just with him but my girls. He has taught me patience. He has taught me that I’m capable. He is the perfect addition to our family and we’re so blessed to have him!
Is it really the third year already? Sorry for kind of skipping right over the second one! My mind is spinning thinking about it — my husband is a D3.
Last week, Rory very deservingly received his white coat. The coat symbolizes that the class of 2019 has completed their first two years of dental school, completed grueling classes and exams, completed the boards (round 1), and is now found worthy to perform dental care in the school clinic for the next two years, and my amazing husband is among those hard-working white coat recipients.
It was so surreal to see my husband walk across that stage to slip his arms into his pristine doctors’ coat. He has come so far, and done so much hard work to get to that point.
He spent days and nights studying for dental school exams, and hours and hours perfecting his skills in the SIM lab. On top of that, and unique to many dental students, he came home to a wife and children. And on top of that even, Rory is the Young Mens President in our ward. It’s a very busy calling that requires a lot of organization, planning and extra hours at church.
Now that the first two years are past us, Rory’s schedule is becoming much less unpredictable. Before, I never knew what time he’d be home. Sometimes he’d be home in the afternoon and go upstairs and study. Sometimes he’d be home at dinner time and do more studying in the evening, after dinner time, long after dinner time. It was a surprise every day! Eventually it just becomes your new normal.
Now Rory will typically be home at dinnertime, and not have to devote nearly as much time to studying. HOORAY. It is such a relief.
Rory’s parents and younger brother flew all the way from Idaho to be a part of his white coat ceremony!
So here we are, halfway through with this adventure. We have been so blessed by it. Heavenly Father has provided so much for us. I have felt so grateful watching my husband achieving his lifelong dream of becoming a dentist. I know this is what he was meant to be doing, and he is so amazing at it! I can officially go to him to get my dental work done, which will be sometime in the next month or two. Oh boy!
About three weeks ago, I explained Halloween to Melissa. Last year we just skimmed over Halloween because Lila was born at the end of September, and I think Melissa was just slightly too young to really understand it all. She did love dressing up as a fairy though. Melissa has always been up for a game of dress-up.
When I told her she could dress up as any princess, character, etc. that she wanted. . .
She got this really deep, thoughtful look on her face, the face she makes when she’s processing a new idea. She tilts her head up a little and looks past my face, and processes the new idea. I asked her who she wanted to be.
“Mary Poppins!” And not just any Mary Poppins costume – the Jolly Holiday dress. (She also wants Lila to be Cinderella, me to be Princess Anna from Frozen, and Rory to be Pooh Bear.)
So I started researching Mary Poppins costumes on online costume shops.
None.
I turned to Etsy.
They were all between 70-100 dollars, and that wasn’t including the famous umbrella and white hat.
I love my child, but I do have to be realistic. I can’t fork over that much money for a costume.
I asked Melissa who her second choice would be. She said she wanted to be Rapunzel with flowers in her hair. Well, that was doable. There were tons of cheap options for a Rapunzel costume. But I just didn’t feel good about it.
Melissa LOVES Mary Poppins. She’s always wanted the “Mary Poppins white dress”. Any dress she has that is even just a little bit white, she calls her Mary Poppins white dress and she pretends to be Mary Poppins.
Melissa is a hyper handful. She drives me crazy a lot. But she is also the sweetest and most understanding little girl I could ever hope for. She shares with Lila, she’s always bringing her toys. She’s patient (for a 2-year-old). She is gentle. She gives Lila kisses all the time. And seriously, what an old soul she is! How many girls her age ask to be Mary Poppins? My little girl deserves to have a real Mary Poppins dress. If I can’t buy one already made, I’ll just have to put one together and hope it comes out looking decent, while being friendly to our budget at the same time. I can’t make one up from scratch, but if I can buy different already-made pieces to stitch together, I could make it work.
Amazon has been my friend through this. Confession time: up until these past couple of weeks I’ve never really perused through Amazon before. Ignorance was bliss. Now I’m kind of obsessed.
So I ordered her a petticoat, and a ruffle blouse that has that old-time Mary Poppins look to it. The rest is up to me.
I also ordered a cheap white umbrella and hat.Those were supposed to be a surprise for her once her dress was finished. But she found them in my “brilliant” hiding spot. She nearly fainted from excitement.
The petticoat came already. I’m not too excited about it. The picture made it look like it added layers upon layers to a dress, just like Mary Poppins’ dress. So for only $13 I grabbed it up. It’s only three wimpy layers. I gave it three stars on Amazon. The seller contacted me and offered me a full refund if I change my review to five stars. (I’m pretty sure that’s not allowed.)
Now, I’d like to think I’m an ethical person, but I’m also a stay-at-home-mom on a budget. I can have clouded judgment. I am flawed. I gave the petticoat five undeserved stars. I got a free petticoat. So there’s that. Moving on.
Sewing, I cannot do. I can sew a button. That’s it. I need to add more layers of tulle to the petticoat, and a lacy white layer of fabric over that. I need to conjure up a red corset. And maybe –maaaybe—add white lacey sleeves to the top since it’s a short sleeve top. I tried sewing a layer onto my petticoat by hand. I think every seamstress in the world would be reaching for their barf bags if they could’ve seen me. So I ordered myself a mini sewing machine off Amazon for $25. Free two-day shipping. Another Amazon purchase to save the day.
My little guy.
All of my components so far! Time to get sewing.
So far it’s a costume under $30, if you don’t count the sewing machine. I don’t. 🙂
She is so excited. If she wasn’t so excited I’d give her the cheap and easy Rapunzel dress because she’s 2 and she won’t remember this. But every day she says (only about 100 times), “The Mary Poppins white dress is came in the maaa-iiil! Mama gonna fix it uuu-uuuup!” In her little sing-songy voice. I mean, how can you ignore that wonder and excitement? What a cool old soul she is.
Plus, I know this dress will get more than one or two uses. She will wear it all the time. She’s even already planning her Mary Poppins themed birthday party.
I just hope I don’t mess it up! I’ll keep updating as I go!
Melissa is officially 2 ½. (For exactly one month now) She is at a fun age because she’s getting so good at talking, and she is picking up lots of interests. I can finally have conversations with her! This means less screaming (notice I didn’t say “no screaming”) and more voicing her problems. Happy days, my friends. Happy days. Her sentences average about 2-8 words long.
Although she can repeat pretty much any word she hears now (watch your language!), she’s never said her name. I think she could, but she prefers her made-up name more. She calls herself “Mamasissa”. Months ago I told her to say Mamasissa hoping that would help her say her name, but I unintentionally created a confusing nickname that has really stuck. I’ll say, “Melissa, say ‘Melissa’.” And she’ll get upset and say, “Nooo! Mamasissa!” And she talks about herself in third person.
“Mamasissa did that.”
“Mamasissa taking a bath (baff).”
“Mamasissa’s swimming like a mermaid.”
Sometimes I’ve gotten her to say “Mesissa” though. We’re getting close.
And she also hasn’t figured out the different between “myself” and “yourself” so she frequently says, “I hurt yourself” and “I see yourself”, meaning herself.
Otherwise, she is becoming a very good talker. She is really shy around other people though, and rarely says anything to strangers. She’s funny how she wants to “play with the babies” so much, but when she finally does get to play with other kids, she gets really nervous and keeps to herself. Sometimes she even gets quite anxious and scared. I asked her pediatrician if I needed to be concerned because she seems a lot more anti-social than most kids, but she said it’s nothing to be concerned about at this age.
Melissa is a princess fanatic. She loves Rapunzel, Frozen and most recently Sleeping “Booty”. She loves wearing her princess dresses, shoes and crowns around the house. She gets excited when Rapunzel’s hair is cut short and turns brown at the end of the movie because she says Rapunzel looks like her now.
She also loves to watch a Disneyland singalong video on Youtube. You 80s and 90s kids might recognize it. This was the video of my childhood, and I put it on for Melissa to watch once out of desperation for some peace and quiet, and to my surprise she loved it and asks to watch it alllllll the time.
She has also recently discovered Mary Poppins. She’s got a crush on Dick Van Dyke, I’m pretty certain. She’s entranced by the whole sequence when they’re in the chalk drawing, and she adores the penguin dance. She must like the hat Mary Poppins wears because if Melissa finds a hat, she’ll put it on and say she looks like Mary Poppins.
Her favorite things to do are swimming, running outside and doing art. When she wears her life vest and water wings, she can swim on her own. She also does pretty good with just the water wings. She’s a big fan of play dough, dress-up, coloring with markers and painting. She also has a passion for helping me cook in the kitchen, and wash the dishes. Every time I start cooking, she’s pushing a chair up to the counter so she can help me. She says, “It’s helping mama!” Every day when I ask her what she wants to do, she usually answers with, “Make a cake!”
I must say, she shows promise to be a junior Masterchef! She already recognizes spices, and knows what they taste like. She also knows pretty much all her fruits and vegetables by name. Her favorites are bell peppers, anything citrusy, avocados and broccoli. She’s really good at stirring things too. For a 2-year-old, she’s not very messy in the kitchen. She’s actually pretty organized in general, like Rory. Not me. I wish.
I think someone once slipped her some Love Potion #9 because this kid kisses everything in sight. She gives kisses to the vacuum, car (and sometimes other people’s cars), Lila, trees, books, you name it. She can be a stinker, but she sure is a sweetheart. She instantly loves everything she learns about and points it out as much as she can.
Her favorite books are Goldilocks, Peter Rabbit and Llama Llama Red Pajama. Her favorite songs are Old MacDonald, Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree, Once There Was a Snowman and I Am a Child of God. And of course, Disney songs. These songs are our bedtime rituals.
She is so sweet to her little sister now. As I mentioned earlier, she loves giving Lila kisses, and hugs. She does it at least three times a day. Now that Lila can crawl and stand, Melissa has been much more interested in including her in her playtime. She gets SO excited when Lila walks with a push toy, or when she tries walking along the furniture. She cheers her on. She also gives her toys to play with a lot.
She also requests that Lila takes a bath with her every night, much to Lila’s dismay. Lila’s not a bath fan. She used to have sharing issues, but lately Melissa has been so sweet with Lila. She lets me know if Lila is doing something she shouldn’t, like play with the toilet.
Speaking of toilet. She’s pretty much potty trained. We started training at the beginning of May. She has one or two accidents a day, but sometimes none! Sometimes when she goes, she says, “Go pee-pee! Like Mary Poppins!” Hey, whatever works, right? She also likes to show Lila when she goes. Getting her to do #2 in the potty has been a struggle. She’s gone only five times since we started training, even though the incentive for going is ice cream. She’s been doing great in just the past week. We still use pull-ups for long outings and sleeping time.
And more fun tidbits about her I missed.
-She doesn’t like to wear her own clothes, except for a few special articles. She likes either squeezing into Lila’s clothes or dragging my dresses around. But she does like her princess dress-up dresses.
-When she gets upset or starts throwing a tantrum, she exclaims, “I need a car ride!” This is because she’s guaranteed to fall asleep in the car. I used to take her for car rides when she started getting grumpy in hopes of getting her to take a nap. Bad habit, yes, but it works. She knows it too. When she watches a show and someone is upset, she says they need a car ride.
-She knows her ABCs and she can count up to 20, but she usually stops at 4 and 13.
-Her favorite color is orange.
-Her favorite food is lasagna. She also likes weird things like tomatoes, onions and limes. And she hates mashed potatoes.
-She has a keen sense of direction. After only driving to certain locations two or three times, she knows exactly where she is and what she did there. She knows where the playgrounds are, and she gets really mad when we drive past them. She has an aunt, Aunt Lisa, who also has a great sense of direction.
-She has a list of phrases that make me laugh, and if she says one, she says the entire list.
Well, he did it! Rory completed his first year of dental school three weeks ago. It went by pretty fast! So fast, that I pretty much forgot that I had started this blog to reach out to future and current wives of dental (or even medical) students.
So that’s reassuring. I promise I was blessed with adequate free time for a mom of two babies. I just found other things to do with it besides write.
So here’s how year one went for us in the Furrows house.
The first year of dental school is broken down into three sections and goes from June to May (but only a couple days into May). It is my understanding that not all dental schools run on this schedule.
My least favorite semester was definitely the first, which is primarily Gross Anatomy. This is when your husband will spend more time with a dead body, than you. He’ll be gone from 6 AM to 10 PM memorizing everything about the anatomy of a human. And when he does come home, you will shove that poor boy into the shower because, Gross Anatomy.
Maybe the hard part about that first semester was adjusting to a totally different schedule, and in a new town far from family to boot. I thought that it wouldn’t be an issue for me. Before dental school Rory was at school all day and then he went to work until 9:30 PM. So I thought, “I got this.”
Long story short: It was still a wake-up call.
And it seemed like when Rory had free time, our conversations always ended being about how the body functions.
“Your sciatic nerve is hurting, babe? Let me tell you about that.”
“Melissa bumped her head. Let me tell you why it hurts.”
“My jaw just popped. Let me tell you what muscles and nerves have been affected.”
He knew I tuned out after he started using fancy words like Medulla Oblongata. But he went through the list of why certain physical stimuli cause certain reactions in the body to explain why everything works the way it does anyway. I’d like to say I learned a lot from Rory that semester, but all I’ve got is Medulla Oblongata.
He couldn’t help it. Gross Anatomy took over his life and conversation skills. It was a relief to put that semester behind.
So that’s my perspective. Rory says the hardest semester for him was the second semester. When you go from two classes to nine, that would be a challenge. That’s 26 credits, folks. Throw a postpartum wife, a daddy’s girl toddler and brand new baby in the mix. Oh and a church calling that requires a lot of time and energy. My husband is a rock star. He has self-discipline and how.
I was a little too consumed with having Lila that semester to even really notice how busy he was. Now that I wrote that, it sounds really sad. But what I mean is, I was used to the long hours away and our new routine by then. So as far as that goes, it was easier for me.
This final semester was still a lot of hard work for Rory, but by then he decided he wasn’t going to push himself as hard. He started out dental school very competitive. He said, “You’re going to hate me, but I’m going to do everything I can to be at the top of my class.”
Then at the end of the second semester he decided it was too much pressure for his current situation at home and at church. It turns out dental students who aren’t in the top of their class still become dentists.
He is still a very hard worker and he makes good grades. From what I’m told, he has a delicate hand in the SIM lab. Rory can sculpt a tooth like a champion. I knew he’d be impressive with the hands-on stuff. Rory has always been an artist, and a perfectionist at anything he does with his hands. He can paint, draw, craft, and make rocking horses. Naturally he can sculpt a molar out of wax.
This is Rory’s only willing patient at the moment.
Anyways, we enjoyed the third semester because he’s started to learn a lot about teeth. It’s amazing how much time you can put into prepping for dental school in undergrad, be IN dental school, and still not learn much about teeth until you get into it for a while.
And because he’s learning so much about how teeth work now, I’ve found myself leaning back with Rory’s fingers poking around my teeth and hearing all about what my teeth are like.
According to my husband, I have the frontal incisor lobes as pristine as a child’s. Hearing that had me like:
When he becomes a third year Rory will start working in the clinic on real live people. That means he can practice drilling cavities on me. I found out last week I’ve got a couple that will probably be, um, ready for drilling in a year or two. My dentist won’t touch them because he wants Rory to fill them for me. Yaaaaay, something for me to look forward to.
We’re told the second year is just as grueling, if not more, as the first year. And around this time next year Rory will take the Boards. So it will be quite a year! I know Rory is going to do great. Dentistry is what he was made to do. It comes so naturally to him, and he loves what he is learning. It has been so amazing to watch him grow and attain so much knowledge. I am so proud of him!
As my pregnancy came down to the finish line, I had accepted the fact that my baby girl would probably go past her October 10th due date. All three of my mom’s babies came late. Melissa was born at 39.4 weeks due to an emergency induction, but I’m sure she would have stayed in past her due date if given the chance.
In the last weeks of this pregnancy, I tried not to over-analyze every ache I was feeling because I didn’t want any false hope or false alarms. I just decided to let her come when she wanted. Don’t get me wrong – I was ready to be done with the backaches, waddling and fatigue. I was also getting tired of accidentally knocking Melissa over whenever she stood too close to me when I’d turn around quickly. I’m sure she was too.
My mom decided to fly out to Charleston on September 29th when I’d be 38 weeks. It was such a relief knowing that she would get here in plenty of time for the baby to come, and Melissa had someone to watch her when the time came. Our ward is amazing and lots of friends offered to watch Melissa if I were to go into labor before my mom came. I still worried just a little because I didn’t want to put anyone out if they had to watch Melissa for us. She’s a crazy little kid!
On September 28th, Lila wasn’t moving much in my belly. My whole pregnancy she’d been a really light kicker, but on that day her tranquility was particularly noticeable. In addition to that, I physically felt great. My lower back wasn’t hurting like it usually was, I felt less pressure in my hips and all other aches were gone. I was even feeling very energetic. I remember thinking in passing, “maybe this is the calm before the storm”. But since I had a couple weeks left, I didn’t entertain the idea further.
I woke up at 5 am on September 29th really concerned about her lack of movement. It wasn’t normal for her to be this motionless. I downed some juice and went back to bed to do kick counts. Within an hour, her movements came. With her movements also came contractions – actual contractions, not the Braxton-Hicks contractions. My stomach hardened and cramped. Then another one came five or six minutes later, then another.
They weren’t very painful, as I fell asleep until Melissa woke up at around 8. The contractions were still coming. I continued my day as normal: breakfast with Melissa, cleaned up around the house, played with Melissa. . .all while tracking my contractions with a contraction timing app on my phone. They were on average six minutes apart, about 40 seconds and pretty mild. I wasn’t getting any pains that stopped me in my tracks, but they were bringing me some cramping similar to period cramps.
They continued until around 11 am and then they got further apart. That’s when I decided to straighten my hair and put on some makeup.
Hey, just in case this was really happening, right?
At around two, I took Melissa for a walk. If –if— I was in labor, I kiiiinda wanted to keep things moving along. The thought of being in labor just sounded so ridiculous though. Labor couldn’t be starting today. It was still September! Plus, my mom was flying in today. The thought of that coincidence was just too much. But if it was labor, I didn’t know how to tell if it was the real deal. I didn’t have the going-into-labor experience with Melissa. And before this day, I had no real signs that the baby was coming soon, but Lila’s lack of movement made me wonder if labor was coming. Maybe she was saving energy for the big arrival?
When I returned from the walk, I discovered my bloody show had happened. (Ew, gross. Sorry.) That got my attention. At 4 it was time to pick up my mom from the airport. That’s when things changed.
As I drove to the airport, the contractions came back, and they were three minutes apart and more intense – like I was doing Lamaze while looping around the terminal. When my mom got in the car, I awkwardly told her how I believed I was in labor. Again, it sounded ridiculous. (It also felt like a weird way to greet my mom. “Hey, how’s it going? I missed you! I’m having contractions!”) But my mom, having been in labor herself a few times, took it more seriously than I did. I tried to drive us home, but we ended up having to switch because the contractions were too distracting to navigate through the rush hour traffic.
My mom was very insistent that I go to labor and delivery to get checked out. Thank goodness Rory was already home when we got home. He didn’t believe it. That was understandable because I didn’t believe it at first either, but the ever increasing pain in my uterus was getting pretty convincing for me.
We grabbed our bags, kissed Melissa good-bye and headed for the hospital. Rory made me drink a few sips of Dr. Pepper to get my energy up. I kept timing my contractions on the way. They were still three minutes apart and about 45 seconds long.
We got to the hospital at 5:45 pm and were shown a room where I had to get dressed in a gown and hooked up to monitors. I thought we were going to go home when my nurse informed me I was 2 centimeters dilated. Sheesh, I must have been completely closed up yesterday. Contractions since 6 am and this was all I have to show for it? Embarrassing.
She said they’d give me a couple of hours and if I wasn’t dilated to a 4, I’d go home. We walked the halls a bit and I bounced on a yoga ball. When I was checked again, I was 3 ½, but since my contractions were staying consistent at 2-3 minutes apart, I was officially admitted at around 8:20 pm.
It still didn’t feel real to Rory. He didn’t know whether he should call family and let them know or not. It felt very real to me when they started sticking me with IV needles. I got stuck once, twice, thrice and again. It wouldn’t have been so irritating if they hadn’t told me what great veins I had while one vein after the other blew. So every time they were fishing for a vein I was laying there thinking, “Obviously you guys are the problem here.” Oh and what they say about contractions distracting you from the IV – lies. All lies.
At this point, Rory was pretty hungry. I sent him to go get himself something since it would probably be awhile before anything exciting happened. I was jealous since all I’d had all day was some eggs, half a bagel and an apple. I was so dang hungry, but I was only allowed ice chips and popsicles. (Question: why do they allow you ice chips, but not water? What’s the difference?)
While Rory was out, I walked around some more and bounced on the yoga ball. It was so nice to be able to get up and move during this labor. I was confined to the bed while I labored with Melissa.
It seemed like Rory had been gone for ages even though there was a McDonald’s and Chick-Fil-A right across the street. The contractions were really picking up in pain. It was getting harder to get through each one without my birthing coach with me. I needed Rory to lean on so badly.
He returned to a different woman than the one he had left.
When he walked back through the door, I said, “Where have you been?” in probably a less than welcoming tone. He was outstanding with my first labor, and I needed that same support for this one if I was going to commit to natural birth. No pressure to Rory or anything. Turns out he drove all the way to Burger King because he had a coupon he wanted to use and he went to three different places in search of a milkshake and he got stuck in one long McDonald’s line.
He quickly ate his dinner, and by 10 pm I was in full-force agony. I couldn’t walk through the contractions anymore so I sat on the yoga ball collapsed in his arms. I labored quietly with Melissa. I did not care this time about being tough and quiet. I ohm-ed and groaned my way through contractions and didn’t care if I sounded freaky. It helped to be vocal.
My poor nurse. She told me I was the first natural birth she got to assist, and I was probably scaring her.
I thought going into labor on my own would be far less painful than an induced birth, but let’s be honest – it all hurts. The better part about this labor was having a little more time in between contractions to rest. My induced labor had contractions coming a lot faster.
It wasn’t long before I felt the urge to push, and it was intense. I tried to hold back and that just amplified the pain.
My doctor came in and checked me. 9 centimeters. I didn’t care about making it to the tenth, I was so ready.
He assured me it was best to wait, and then he popped my water for me to help me get to a 10 faster. So I had gone from 3.5 cm to 9 cm in about three hours. That explained a lot of the pain. It was a relief to know I had come so far in a short amount of time. When my cervix gets going, man, I’ll tell you. Nothing stops it.
I kept saying outloud to myself, “we’re having a baby soon. We’re really doing it. She’s almost here.” That helped me get through that last hurdle. Resisting the urge to push is brutal.
I was able to continue laboring in Rory’s arms for maybe ten more minutes before I started getting ugly. I just started pushing, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I hollered to my nurse, “Please get the doctor because I am pushing and I CAN’T HELP IT!”
I was too short for the squat bar, so they helped me back on the bed, and I went to town on the pushing. No one counted to ten for me, no one told me when to push – I was just doing it. At one point I felt kind of awkward having several nurses staring at me and not saying a word. My doctor said, “Slow down warrior woman, you’re pushing in between contractions!” I couldn’t help it. It felt so relieving and empowering to finally be pushing. It honestly wasn’t even painful. It was a piece of cake compared to sitting through those contractions unable to push.
She was already crowning. I felt the burning and I pushed through it until my legs shook. I looked down and saw my baby’s head and shoulders and I just stopped right there and celebrated, thinking I was done. The pain was gone, so why not? They told me to keep going until she was all the way out at 11:45 pm.
She was so tiny and so beautiful! She looked just like Melissa. I only had to push for thirteen minutes and now she was on my chest. She didn’t get to stay there long because her crying was weak, so they took her to the incubator to help her out. They said her lungs were “wet” from the water breaking, but she was going to be just fine. They announced that she was 6 pounds, 15 oz and 20 inches long. And
I laid back enjoying my adrenaline rush. Then my doctor brought me back to reality. He commented on my heavy bleeding.
I looked at him thinking, “Isn’t everyone a heavy bleeder at this point?” He answered me by sticking his entire hand up inside of me. He explained that he was manually scraping clots out of my uterus with his hand, which was about as painful as it sounds. It hurt more than pushing the baby out. The pain and frustration from feeling pain during my precious post-birth afterglow had me wailing. I’m sure everyone on the L&D floor heard me.
After that little experience, he told me I received one tear so small he didn’t need to stitch it, and we were back to being buddies. I think not tearing is a reflection of a skilled doctor. (But I’d like to think all those squats and kegals I did ended up being worth it too.) That was great news – no stitches.
They brought Lila back to me and she started nursing right away. It was amazing! We spent a couple hours in the delivery room until it was time to be moved.
The next day Lila was diagnosed with jaundice so she had to be put on a billiblanket for the remainder of our two-day hospital stay. I found out that my being RH negative puts my babies at a higher risk of jaundice. Sorry children. Melissa got to meet Lila that day. She gave her a few kisses and head rubs, but she wasn’t too interested in her baby sister. I, on the other hand, was enjoying everything about having a newborn again. I missed the cuddles and snuggles so much!
They told me to get rest that night. Then they woke me up at 4 am to draw blood, and blow three more of my veins to get a sample. Hospital logic.
Luckily we were discharged early the next afternoon. Lila came home with a billiblanket, but she only had to be on it for less than two days.
Lila is such a sweet addition to our family. Tomorrow she will be three weeks old. She sleeps really well, even at night. She is easily comforted when she cries and she is a total mama’s girl. Melissa is doing so great with the change too. She isn’t acting out (more than normal) and she likes to snuggle and kiss Lila. We love our little family!
-Kelly
PS As you may know, Melissa was named after the song, “Melissa” by the Allman Brothers. I thought it would be nice for all of our daughters to have a song with their name in it. Finding Lila’s name was more difficult because we couldn’t think of any songs we liked that included a name we liked. Then while I was giving Melissa a bath one night, I remembered the song “Lilah” by Don Henley. The more I researched the name, the more I fell in love with it. It’s Arabic for night, or dark beauty. And the song is pretty too! Soft and gentle, just like our sweet girl.
I admit right now that I’m not a good budgeter. I’m not a fan of writing down where all my expenses go and calculating how much I can spend on this and that each month. However, I do know how to save money. I only buy clothes that are on sale, I buy house brand foods at the cheapest grocery stores, I only buy baby toys (and most baby clothes) from Once Upon a Child, I eat out very rarely, I don’t buy expensive cosmetics, etc etc.
But since I’m not a good budgeter, I’ve had to look for other ways to save a little money. I’ve found five simple ways to just that. Mind you, it really is saving just a little bit of money, but every little bit helps, right?
It gives you money back for groceries. You do your shopping, and when you get home, you select the items you bought off a list, scan the barcodes and receipt, and you get some money back for the items! The said list won’t have everything you bought. The list usually includes milk, some produce, eggs, orange juice, granola bars and other random things you might buy on an average shopping trip. And you get somewhere between 20 cents to one dollar back per item (sometimes more, but usually only for booze). But it does add up over time. I’ve been using Ibotta for over a month, and I have earned $7 back.
com. Similar to Ibotta, it’s rebates in case the name didn’t give it away. I did all of my Christmas shopping through ebates last year and I earned over $32 back. Anytime I order something online, I do it through ebates. It gets you somewhere around 2-5% back on what you spend on an order. Again, not a lot, but it does add up! The website is easy to use, and you get money back in the form of a check. It’s so easy, why not use it?
Walmart savings catcher. Another app I recently discovered and love. After each shopping trip at Walmart, upload your receipt, and if another store advertises a better deal than what you paid at Walmart, you get the difference. So far, I have $1.69 returned from six shopping trips.
com. Why did it take me so long to discover all of these? Especially this one. It’s simple: browse through the coupons and if you see one for something you need to buy, clip it and print it out. I saved $7 at my last Walmart trip because of coupons. Pssst moms: they have lots of diapers and wipes coupons!
It’s come in handy for more times than I can count. Before you’re ready to check out at the store you’re shopping at (either online or in person), bring up your retailmenot app and check to see if the store is offering any deals you may be unaware of. Usually it’s a 10% off coupon, but sometimes more! I’ve found this app has saved me more with online shopping, but as a stay-at-home mom, that’s alright with me.
I completely recommend all of these money saving tips. They’re hassle-free, they don’t spam you, and they do their job: They save you money!
Rory finished his first semester of dental school last week. Pheeeeeew!
I know from my last dental school update I made being a dental student’s wife sound scary. It got better. Truly it did. Maybe it’s the pregnancy coming to a close, but I’ve been keeping busy. I’ve been doing a bunch of projects around the house. Unfortunately, my projects are in the “little bit here and a little bit there” stages.
Does anyone else do that? You finally start something and come to a hold-up and instead of pushing through, you go, “This project can wait! I’ll start this other project now!”
Ugh. So me right now. DIY ADD. It’s real. I just about finished upgrading my entertainment center and came to a hold-up (6 inch handles are rare these days apparently). So I decided to start some wall art, including my picture collage and vertical garden. Then the budgeting wife in me says, “It’s too expensive though! I better put it off.” Dilemma: Need décor in my home, need more money.
I decided to put the vertical garden off completely. Too much money, and too likely to neglect it while I adjust to two babies in the house. It’s such a big wall in the kitchen though, so I’d like to fill it up with something before the baby comes.
I finally ordered frames for my family picture collage, and my goal is to have it finished before October. Maybe not completely finished, but enough to look nice.
Another project I’ve taken on is redoing the nursery. Now that MUST be done here in the next month, so you will see a post about it.
I’m also hoping to get Melissa’s Halloween costume finished before the baby comes. She’s going to be the tooth fairy! We already got her a cute little dress from a yard sale, so she needs some wings and a wand.
There you go. If you need a distraction while your husband is in dental or medical school do what I do: come up with twenty distractions (also known as projects) and set a goal to complete them before you have your baby. You will slowly feel like your butt is catching on fire once you make a list the size of mine.
You’re welcome.
Speaking of baby, I’m 33 weeks this week which means four more weeks until I’m full term and seven until the due date. I want to believe she’ll come early because of all the Braxton Hicks, pressure and soreness, but it’s probably not in the cards for me. I’m bracing myself for a late baby.
I know I look scary. Humidity is like 80% around here, okay? I needed a bump picture. By the way, that is my big blank wall where my garden was going to go. What to do with it now?!
I’ve been lying about my due date. I’m so sick of the horrified reactions when I utter the word “October” so I just tell people I’m due September 20th. Only one person has still given me the horrified look. Otherwise, people seem to accept it. Strangers love to point out how I look like I’m due tomorrow. It’s an off day if no one tells me how huge my belly is. Truth.
Okay, enough about me.
Rory finished his first semester very strongly. I’m so proud of him. He worked his butt off, and I never heard any complaints about it. Gross anatomy is finished, which means no more dead guy duties for him.
He had a week long “summer break” last week, and today is the last day before semester #2 begins. It’s been wonderful having Rory home. We got to spend some time at the pool beach, Magnolia Gardens/Plantation, celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary, and just enjoy some much needed family down-time together. I got hardly anything done around the house though. Turns out I’m a lot more productive when he’s away at school. Haha.
He’s taking around 21 credits this upcoming semester, so if I thought I hardly saw him last semester, I have a feeling his time away from home is going to be a lot longer.
The good news is: scrubs. He gets to wear scrubs now. Why is this good news? Less laundry for me! And I’m so excited to see Rory in scrubs. People who wear scrubs just look so knowledgeable and studious. Plus, Rory’s class gets navy blue which is totally his color.
He’ll also start learning in the SIM lab and working on robot mouths. That sounds way cool.
So even though I’m a little worried about the business of his schedule in addition to bringing a new baby home, I am excited that he’s moving on up in the dental school world.
Eventually there comes a time when a child has injured herself beyond the repair of a mother’s kiss. Eventually your child needs urgent care. Eventually she needs something you can’t provide. And do I wish that it didn’t have to happen to my baby. Ever.
Because there is nothing harder about being a mother than being helpless for your hurting baby.
Last Friday, I had Melissa cooped up in her stroller all afternoon while I ran various errands across town. And that does not go over well with my child who likes to run and be free. She was not happy with me for making her do that.
The next day, I had a couple more stores I needed to visit, and since I only needed one thing at Marshall’s, I decided to let her walk around the store with me. I was already regretting my decision when she tugged herself out of my hand’s grip and ran off to pick things up off the shelves.
Ugh, bad idea, I told myself. I just wanted to get out fast.
When I got ahold of her again, she only held my hand for a few seconds before she wrestled away and ran off. Me being heavily pregnant found it difficult to keep up with her as she ran up to a display of dumbbells and picked one up.
And dropped it.
Right on her toe.
I caught up to her and immediately picked her up. The poor thing was crying miserably and I instantly recognized as her “I’m in pain” cry. It’s got that shocked tone in it. I ran outside to take a look at her foot and was immediately caught off guard with the large amount of blood coming from her big toe. It was already soaking her shoe and my hand. Her toe nail was just barely hanging on.
In that moment, you’re faced with so many thoughts and questions:
“What do I do?”
“How do I get the bleeding under control?”
“I have nothing with me to stop this bleeding.”
“Where do I go?”
“Why didn’t I stop this from happening?”
“My baby is hurt, and it’s my fault.”
And then you start to cry right there with her at the entrance of Marshall’s.
I ran Melissa back into the car and did my best to wrap her foot in a diaper. Her pediatrician was across the street so I drove there first.
I ran into the office with my bleeding, screaming baby and tried to explain what had happened even though I was in tears and a little incoherent. All I really wanted was for someone to wrap her toe so she would stop bleeding and not be able to pull her toenail off.
Instead I got all of these confused looks from the ladies behind the front desk as if this was the first time they’d seen someone bleed and a mother too distressed to go into details on why there was blood. I needed someone to talk me through this and help us, and instead they just kept asking me, “Wait. What happened?”
NEVER MIND HOW IT HAPPENED SHE’S BLEEDING CAN YOU HELP ME STOP THE BLEEDING?!
They told me to go to the emergency room because she needed x-rays. They sent me out with nothing for the bleeding. Okay, glad I wasted my time with you people. Note to self: find new pediatrician.
Poor Melissa was still screaming and crying from her injury. I kept talking to her while we drove to the hospital even though I was crying right along with her and probably not sounding very comforting. I parked at the hospital, and carried her into the ER as fast as my 30 week-pregnant body could get me there.
Again I was faced with having to explain the situation to the front desk lady who was anything but sympathetic. I kept holding up Melissa’s bloody foot and saying that she was bleeding and needed an x-ray. She told me someone would be out to see us soon.
I can’t think of the last time I was in an ER. Not since I was really little. So I didn’t know what to expect. Did bleeding babies get priority over other people here? Because just going off how everyone else looked, Melissa was in the worst condition. I was hoping they could take her back right away because of this.
Or at least give me something to stop the bleeding. Why was I the only one concerned about the bleeding?!
But no. We had to wait our turn while grown humans with sore throats and tummy aches were taken back first.
Now obviously I don’t know why other people were in the ER that day, but when you’re a mom and it’s your child who needs immediate attention, I’m sorry, but no one else is more important.
I rocked Melissa in our seat and talked her through the pain while trying to keep her foot elevated. She fell asleep in my arms and she was shivering and pale. Was she going into shock? I got up to ask the front desk if someone could see her right now.
“Ma’am, they’re almost ready for you.”
All I could manage to say was, “But she’s bleeding and she’s cold.”
Unbelievable. I took her back to our seat and kept rocking her, trying to keep her warm, but it was Charleston in late July. I had no sweaters or blankets in my bag and Melissa was just wearing a little summer dress.
A nurse came back to see us, but all she wanted me to do was sign some forms. I asked her for a blanket and she brought us a nice heated one. Finally someone was helpful.
I think we waited almost an hour in total until they called us back to the x-ray room. The bleeding wasn’t as bad anymore, but we did leave a few drops behind on the chair we sat on. I still had blood on my hands. If I wasn’t wearing a black dress that day, I would have looked pretty gory.
I laid Melissa down on the x-ray table hoping she could just sleep through it since I knew I wouldn’t be allowed in the room once they started taking the pictures, and she would be upset.
She woke up seconds after being laid down, looked around for a bit and immediately started to cry. I did my best to comfort her, but I eventually had to leave the room.
And that was the worst part. Hearing the technicians try to hold her still while she cried for me, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I stood at the door listening and trying not sob, feeling so helpless and defeated.
A sweet looking lady noticed me and walked up to me. She introduced herself as a social worker, but I forgot her name as soon as she said it. She was the first person to offer any words of comfort since Melissa hurt herself.
I was grateful to have her there talking to me so I could think about something other than Melissa in the next room.
Finally the door opened and my baby girl reached out to me and clinged onto me like a little monkey. They told me we’d have to wait twenty more minutes until a doctor could review her x-rays. That sounded like an eternity that moment.
“What about the bleeding, can someone see her and clean her up while we wait?”
“Uhhh…”
The social worker said to come with her. She walked us back to the main ER entrance and signed us in again so a doctor could take care of her toe.
So we had to wait all over again.
Melissa was a lot calmer now. Between little gasps, she’d point to her foot and say, “Uh oh. Dirty.” It was a mix of insanely cute and insanely heartbreaking to hear her say that. I gave her the few snacks I’d packed her for our, what was meant to be, short outing and downloaded some toddler games for her to play with on my phone.
This was how her toe looked the whole time we were in the ER.
Over two hours later, I was finally talking to a doctor. She said Melissa had fractured the tip of her toe. We finally got to let her toe soak in a little tub filled with water and bubbles, and she enjoyed splashing around in that. The doctor came back and applied Dermaglue to her toenail. She said that would keep it in place for a couple of days, but the nail will eventually fall completely off.
She left and said a nurse would be back to bandage Melissa’s toe.
By then we’d been at the ER for four hours. My back and belly were so sore from holding Melissa that entire time, and we were both emotionally exhausted. She wasn’t even trying to get off of the bed and run around. It took all my strength to not fall asleep on the exam bed with her while we waited to get her toe bandaged.
Thankfully Rory was home when we got home, and Melissa was so happy to see him. By then she was back to her normal self and able to walk. In fact, she didn’t want to sleep that night because she was too perky and happy.
On normal days, I think, “She’s going through the two-year sleep regression already. Being a mom is hard.” Or, “She won’t let me get any housework done, and the place is a mess. Being a mom is hard.” Or, “I’m achy from being pregnant and she keeps climbing all over my belly. Being a mom is hard.”
But then, on these days, reality hits.
It’s not the sleepless nights, the endless chasing, the picky eating, or the meltdowns in public that makes being a mom hard. That’s what makes being a mom being a mom.
On days when my child is hurt, I think, “It shouldn’t have happened to her.” Or, “Why couldn’t it have happened to me?” Or, “I could have prevented this from happening.” It makes the little problems that happen on a daily basis seem so petty. You completely rip yourself up for it.
That is when being a mom is hard.
When you’re helpless for your child. They don’t prepare you for that in parenting classes or childbirth classes. When your child is hurt, being a mom is hard. When there’s nothing you can do, being a mom is hard. When no one around you treats it with the same urgency, being a mom is hard.
Things were put into perspective for me that day. I don’t know how moms of terminally sick or injured kids put on a brave face. Melissa’s injury was medically considered minor, and I lost it. All I can do it thank God she is okay, she’s healthy and she will heal.
I have a 20-month-old daughter and more kids to bring into this world which means there will be more days like that one. I don’t know how to prepare myself, but I do know to cherish every day when being a mom is not hard.
Rory and I are easy to please people when it comes to food. Neither of us consider ourselves picky eaters. Those of you who know Rory know this is especially true about him. However, we have a toddler. And she dictates the meals that get served every night. Because if Melissa doesn’t like it, it’s a bad night!
Dinner time usually comprises of me trying to juggle cooking and keeping Melissa entertained so I like for it to go by as quickly as possible! She hates being ignored while I cook, so I try to let her help me cook as much as possible, but moms of toddlers — you know. You know. No need to go into details.
So I compiled a list of quick meals I like to make that keep everyone in the house satisfied!
Meal One: Cheesy Tortellini Bake
Why we love it: Could not be easier to make! Boil tortellini for two minutes. Drain. Add to baking baking pan, mix with marinara and cheese. Bake. Voila: You have dinner set for two nights because that’s how much it makes. (Actually, there was enough for two nights, Rory took some for lunch, and there was just enough for Melissa’s dinner for a third night. And she ate it “gall-gone” every time.)
Meal two: Sticky sesame chicken
Why we love it: It’s like eating at Panda Express, but a lot less greasy. And I always have all of these ingredients in my kitchen. I can throw this together pretty much any time. I love how the sauce mixes in with the rice and makes it all sticky. Yum!
Meal three: Slow cooker tamale pie
Why we love it: Who doesn’t love a slow cooker meal? Adding the cornbread muffin mix to the top at the end gives it a fun spin, and it’s everyone’s favorite part! This also feeds this family of three for two nights, plus a lunch for Rory.
Meal four: Chicken and dumplings
Why we love it: Comforting, healthy and hearty, saves well. What more can you ask? This is one of Rory’s most requested dinners. The dumplings are melt-in-your-mouth good!
PS Just when you were recognizing a pattern of Six Sisters Stuff recipes, right? This is from my step-brother’s wife’s blog, Two-Leaf Clover which you should totally follow if you’re into DIY, fashion and creative, quick recipes! This recipe was posted back in 2012, and I’m so glad I wrote it down.
Meal five: One pot creamy spaghetti and sausage
We love it: You can throw all the ingredients in one pot? Yes, please. And this yields a ton of spaghetti. A ton. I had spaghetti up to my neck for days. And red pasta sauce always goes over well with a toddler, am I right? Meal six: Slow cooker balsamic pot roast
Why we love it: When you’re in the mood for a pot roast, the balsamic vinegar in this one gives it a unique zing. This one is a little more of a hit-and-miss with Melissa, but I make it anyway because the grown-ups can’t get enough. Meal seven: Confetti Curry Chicken Bowl
Why we love it: This one’s fun to change things up with. Plus it gives me the excuse to break out my Dutch Oven. It’s got a little Indian flair, and it has so many (healthy) components that there’s something in it for everyone. These are just some of the meals that frequently make it to my kitchen table. I just wanted to share these with anyone who’s looking for new recipes that are easy and family friendly! I promise these will not disappoint!
Meal six: 
Meal seven: 
These are just some of the meals that frequently make it to my kitchen table. I just wanted to share these with anyone who’s looking for new recipes that are easy and family friendly! I promise these will not disappoint!
this filling adventure 